When you’re in your early 20s, almost everyone is single. Then, around 25 or so, “it” happens. Men, all of a sudden, want to start settling down.
And if you’re as unlucky in love as I am, that means that you will end up being single in your 30s, still trying to find "The One" who’s actually right for you. In a couple of years, almost everyone you know will end up settling down, but sometimes, there are men who end up staying single.
Why do some guys stay single?
According to a study from the University of Nicosia in Cyprus, scientists led by Menelaos Apostolou anonymously quizzed and analyzed more than 6,700 comments from men on Redditto know the 43 most common reasons why men can't find a partner or stay single.
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1. Poor looks
Men who thought they looked bad or didn't like the look of themselves, particularly if they were balding or were too short, said that a woman wouldn't want to be with them.
2. Low self-esteem
Lots of men also admitted to being single because of low self-esteem and not having a lot of confidence in themselves. But this can be easily changed if you alter your mindset and see yourself in a different way.
3. Low effort
Not surprisingly, lots of men reported also have little to low effort in wanting or maintaining a relationship, and weren't putting themselves out there to potential daters.
4. No interest in relationships
Unfortunately, some men just don't have any interest in being in a relationship and prefer the single life.
5. Poor flirting skills
Some men are natural flirters, but for others, it can be very hard to flirt with women. This is due to nerves or theinability to pick up on signals.
6. Introverted
For natural introverts, dating can feel difficult. These individuals might prefer to stay single and be alone. But sometimes it's best to try something out of your comfort zone.
7. Recent breakup
Breakups aren't overcome instantly, and for this reason, anyone could understand why a guy would want to be single after ending a relationship.
8. Bad prior experiences
Now, you can't base every relationship or dating experience on bad relationships from the past. Everyone is different and you don't have to be so cynical about relationships; instead, keep an open mind.
9. No available women
This one is hard to believe because there are plenty of women out there looking for relationships. If you put in the effort to look for a mate and put yourself out there, there's a larger chance you'll be successful.
In the case of the men who were single because of their insecurities, they might genuinely feel lonely, especially if they actually want a relationship but are too scared to put themselves out there. However, for others, casual hookups are the norm and they might not ever feel lonely because they don't want a relationship anyway.
While the mostcommon word for a single man is a bachelor, he could also be called a player if he chooses to stay single and date many women at once, without choosing a commitment to one of them.
And as you might be able to tell from this list of why men are single, there are, unfortunately, single men who reach the age group of 35 and over without being in a relationship.But speaking as someone who’s been there, dated that, and followed all sorts of dating advice, I know who these types of guys are.
RELATED:4 Reasons You're Still Single (Even Though You Desperately Want To Find Love)
Here are 13 types of guys who stay single that you’ll meet after you hit age 35.
1. The Aging Player
If he was still 22 and was the classic bad boy, this might be alright. But when a guy is single at 30 and still juggling women, it’s safe to say he might not be cut out for a life of commitment.
People who need to keep up the “Player’s Lifestyle” are not necessarily happy people; they’re often very lonely and very insecure. They often have issues they may not even be aware of.
Sure, these guys can coast along when they’re 30, but usually, by 40, they realize that men’s looks fade, too, and money can only go so far. Contrary to popular belief, men do end up losing value over time, too. After all, money can’t buy love.
2. The Bitter Man
Much like bitter women, the Bitter Man had just one too many bad experiences with the dating scene and now he's done. Unlike bitter women, though, Bitter Men express their bitterness with rage and are very vocal about it. They want you to know the dating equivalent of, “You didn't fire me! I quit!”
Much like the Aging Player, these men may need mental wellness help or to do some soul searching. They know not all women are like that, but they’ve reached the point where the resentment and rejection got so bad that they no longer could have a healthy relationship, even if they wanted to.
3. The Frantic Man
Biological clocks happen with men, too. One day, this guy, possibly a player, woke up and realized that he needs a family. Now, he’s on the prowl, and he’s a bit desperate.
His friends are getting worried, and so are his family members. He’s hitting up Match.com trying to find "The One" who will be a good baby mama.
Oddly enough, he’s probably not that bad of a catch. However, you better be willing to settle down yesterday with this one. Like, babies, ASAP.
4. The Divorced Dad
He’s a great guy, things just didn’t work out with his ex. There’s a small catch to dating him, though, and it’s not really that small. He’s got a kid... or five.
You better believe that he’s looking for a replacement mother for them, but there’s good news.
These guys, if you want to have a ring and kids, are a good option. Sort of. They can have baggage that might make you think twice, especially if you hear rants about baby mamas thrown in the mix.
5. The Married Guy Who Claims He’s Single
Yeah, they’re not single. They’re just horrible human beings who probably should divorce the poor women they swindled into marriage. Nothing about guys like this is sexy.
This is a huge portion of the reason why so many women end up having trust issues. But he’s in the minority. At least, that’s what I’m hoping is true.
6. The Dumpster Fire
Dumpster Fires are actually not always physically unappealing, per se, but that’s often icing on the cake.
You see, the problem with Dumpster Fires is that they are literally unable to behave normally with other people. They often have an idea that something might be wrong, but they can’t, for the life of them, understand why they have such a hard time with people.
There are a million reasons why a Dumpster Fire could be a persona non grata in the dating scene. Whether it’s due to Nice Guy Syndrome, drug use, violent mood swings, or something else, the fact is that the Dumpster Fire is always a disaster in the dating scene, regardless of how much they can’t see that fact.
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7. Mr. You’re-So-Nice-As-A-Friend
Some people, regardless of looks or personality, just don’t seem to have the right “zazz” to be considered attractive by others. He might have an “uncle face,” put off the wrong vibes, or just have some kind of mismatch in hormones.
Sadly, there’s not much people in this situation can do, aside from continuing their search, trying to improve themselves more, or giving up.
8. The Optimistic Quitter
Sometimes, love just doesn’t seem to be a priority, or, rather, just doesn’t seem to be in the cards.
Men, more than women, are likely to just stop trying to date anyone and are also likely to stop pursuing partners. Why? Because in many situations, it just doesn’t make sense to keep trying only to face an increased change of being shot down.
What’s cool about Optimistic Quitters is that they aren’t necessarily bitter towards women and they would be open if a girl were to approach them. However, due to the dating scene being what it is, they may not even pick up when a lady’s interested anymore.
9. The Manchild
Narcissistic and totally irresponsible, the Manchild usually does believe he wants to date someone. However, he doesn’t actually want a girlfriend. He wants a new mom. He also wants to have a mom that is physically intimate with him and provides for him.
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Woe is the woman who finds herself a Manchild boyfriend because she’ll likely be burned out by the time she leaves him. Outwardly, though, he seems okay... at least at the start. That’s what keeps him being different than a Dumpster Fire.
10. The Guy Who Realizes He’s Messed Up And Refuses To Date Because Of It
Many of the types of guys who stay single that you’ll see after 30 are just not respectable from a dating standpoint.
But this guy? This guy, you have to respect. It takes a lot of willpower to actually admit that there are problems that need to be fixed before you get into dating again. Some of these guys swear off dating permanently, other guys are just doing a temporary break.
Either way, at least he’s being honest with himself.
11. The Guy Who Legit Is Happily Single And Won’t Change That
Social standards, be damned. Some folks are happy being single and want to stay that way. It happens to both men and women, so we can’t really hate that.
12. The Catch
He’s got a Master’s from Yale, a nice body, and, oh yeah, no psychological issues. He lives an action-packed life. He doesn’t have kids, either.
Problem? Well, he’s looking for his equivalent in a woman and, unfortunately, rare guys like this will end up staying single for longer because it’s so hard to find someone that perfect, regardless of gender.
13. The Choosing Beggar
Some folks hear the phrase “Beggars can’t be choosers” and don’t realize it applies to them. As unromantic as it is to say, there’s no such thing as a totally perfect partner, especially if you, yourself, are far from perfect.
However, Choosing Beggars will not give up their standards of seeing younger women who are modelesque, 5'10", with a booming career, regardless of the fact that they often have pot bellies, bad personalities, and dead-end jobs.
Oh well, single life isn’t that bad, right?
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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others. Follow her on Twitter for more.
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FAQs
Why some men stay single forever? ›
According to a study, among the most frequent reasons that men indicated for being single included not being interested in a relationship, poor flirting skills, low self-confidence, poor looks, shyness, low effort, and bad experience(s) from previous relationships.
Why some guys are always single? ›Most men want to be in a relationship but are single because of their looks, height, or because they lack confidence, finds a new study. Having poor looks and being short or bald, followed by lack of confidence could be reasons why a large number of men remain single, a study has showed.
What is the best age for a man to be single? ›Of the 25 single men I surveyed ages 30-40, they all agree that around 35 is the best time for a man to be single. One of the key reasons is because they find women ages 35 and younger to be the most ideal.
What kind of guys to stay away from? ›- The Selfish Guy. Does the guy you're dating only seem to care about himself? ...
- The Liar. ...
- The Player. ...
- The Guy Who Strings You Along. ...
- The Guy Who Puts in No Effort. ...
- The Emotionally Unavailable Guy. ...
- The Controlling Guy.
It all depends on you. A person cannot live without sex for 1 week, so there are many people who live without sex for years. It all depends on your preferences, how much priority you give to sex.
Why do some people never find love? ›Confidence and self-esteem play a vital role when it comes to love. However, many people are unable to find love because they don't think they're worthy of having it. These types of beliefs often have roots reaching as far back as early childhood and can have a huge impact on our lives.
Do single guys feel lonely? ›Most researchers, however, agree that single men tend to be especially lonely, and that certain social norms governing masculinity may increase the risk of loneliness in men. Some early research on loneliness also suggests men may be less likely than women to admit to feelings of loneliness.
Are single men more depressed? ›Unmarried men suffer far higher rates of depression and suicide than married men and single women, yet mental health experts consider them an ignored demographic.
Are men happier single? ›Hu found that reported happiness was higher overall among married people than unmarried people. By gender, 56.2 percent of married men said they were “very happy,” compared with only 39.4 percent of unmarried men who said so. Among women, the figure dropped to 44.9 percent and 35.4 percent respectively.
At what age do most men fall in love? ›And it turns out that for most people it happens when they're quite young, with 55 percent of people saying they first fell in love between the ages of 15 and 18! Twenty percent of us then fall in love between the ages of 19 an 21, so around the time you're at university or working your first real job.
What is the best age to make love? ›
According to experts, 18 is the right age for both men and women to become sexually active. While there are numerous theories which can suggest otherwise, we have found a very logical reason as to why experts believe 18 is the right age to start doing it.
What age are men most romantic? ›What age are men most romantic? The poll has revealed that the majority of men do not embrace romance until they are well into their fifties, but as soon as they attain 53 they can even beat youths when it comes to showering their partners with love.
What are red flags in a guy? ›- Overly controlling behavior. Overly controlling behavior is a common red flag. ...
- Lack of trust. ...
- Feeling low self-esteem. ...
- Physical, emotional, or mental abuse. ...
- Substance abuse. ...
- Narcissism. ...
- Anger management issues. ...
- Codependency.
Toxic relationships, being used, feeling emotionally spent, or meeting someone new could also contribute to what makes a man leave his wife. A wife left behind may be wondering what happened to her once happy relationship. Going to couples counseling and communicating with her husband may help save the marriage.
What makes a man pull away from you? ›Men pull away due to multiple reasons ranging from fears, insecurities, or anxieties to desperation or loss of love. It is crucial for you to figure out the reason behind his pulling away to protect your relationship. And probably the best way to deal with it is to give him space.
How long does it take for a guy to finish on his own? ›That depends on many factors and can vary from time to time. Measured on a stopwatch, it takes an average of 5 to 7 minutes for a man to reach orgasm and ejaculate. But the overall range is wide, from less than one minute to over half an hour.
What happens to a person without love? ›Specifically, compared to people with less skin hunger, people who feel more affection-deprived: are less happy; more lonely; more likely to experience depression and stress; and, in general, in worse health. They have less social support and lower relationship satisfaction.
What percentage of people never find their soulmate? ›Roughly one in five (19%) say they haven't met their soulmate and don't believe they will. Men (46%) are more likely than women (40%) to say they've met their soulmate, and are currently dating/married to them.
Is it impossible to find love after 30? ›"Love can happen at any age. Don't pressure yourself so much, and don't allow singleness to make you believe that there's something wrong with you." Moyo adds, "You're not late. There's no rule book that says dating has to start and end at a certain age.
At what age do men feel lonely? ›A new study has found that 35 is the age at which men feel the most lonely. But when might you feel the most creative or content?
What are the signs of a lonely man? ›
- Disconnecting from loved ones.
- Engaging in risky behavior.
- Increased aggression.
- Decreased energy and increased fatigue.
- Feeling annoyed over minor inconveniences.
- Having a low sense of self-worth.
- Feeling a loss of “purpose”
- Experiencing frequent boredom or disengagement.
- They spend a lot of time alone. We'll start with the most obvious one. ...
- They are unproductive. ...
- They get stuck on the negatives. ...
- They seem to be sick or ill frequently. ...
- They seem overly attached to their possessions or hobbies.
A YouGov poll in 2019 concluded that one in five men have no close friends, twice as many as women. In 2021, the Survey Center on American Life found that since 1995, the number of American men reporting that they had no close friends jumped from 3 to 15 per cent.
What is the number one cause of depression in men? ›Environmental Stress—financial problems, loss of a loved one, a difficult relationship, major life changes, work problems, or any stressful situation may trigger depression in some men. Illness—depression can occur with other serious medical illnesses, such as diabetes, cancer, heart disease, or Parkinson's disease.
What percentage of men are lonely? ›Men tend to report higher levels of loneliness than women, with 39% of men living alone experiencing loneliness and one in three men believe that there is no one to help them out if in they're in need.
How do single men enjoy? ›- Be spontaneous. Without a significant other, you don't need to run things by another person before you jump in. ...
- Travel. ...
- Spend time with those who matter most. ...
- Read. ...
- Work hard and play hard. ...
- Reflect. ...
- Take up a new hobby. ...
- Stay out and sleep in.
- Your mind is uncluttered. ...
- You're more open to whatever life throws your way. ...
- You have time to get in touch with yourself. ...
- You have a chance to figure out what you want out of life. ...
- It can be the best-case scenario. ...
- It's a chance to become financially responsible.
As of 2022, Pew Research Center found, 30 percent of U.S. adults are neither married, living with a partner nor engaged in a committed relationship. Nearly half of all young adults are single: 34 percent of women, and a whopping 63 percent of men.
What triggers love in a man? ›Physical attraction, sexual compatibility, empathy, and emotional connection are key to making a man fall in love with a woman.
What is the most difficult age for a man? ›The most difficult age for any man is between the age of 24 and 29 years, the pressure to be someone important is so immense. When you look around, everyone seems to be doing something for themselves, people seem to be living a life you only dream of.
What age group do men find most attractive? ›
In short, heterosexual men will find 20-year-old women most attractive regardless of how old they are. Women, on the other hand, tend to find men of a similar age to them most attractive so as they get older, women will generally start to be into older men.
What is the maximum age gap between lovers? ›Couples with an age gap of 1 to 3 years (with the man older than the woman) were the most common and had the greatest levels of satisfaction. Relationship satisfaction decreased slightly for couples with age gaps of 4 to 6 years and continued to decrease for couples with an age gap of 7 or more years.
What percent of guys never have a girlfriend? ›A survey conducted by the National Institute of Population and Social Security Research revealed that 61.4% of single men aged 18-34 do not have a girlfriend and that 49% of single women in the same age range do not have a boyfriend.
What is the 3 month rule? ›STORY HIGHLIGHTS. People in new relationships should wait three months before thinking long-term. Important discoveries about another are usually made in that three-month period. Don't bother worrying if a man is husband-material until you really know him.
What is a good question to ask a guy? ›- What's the craziest thing you've ever done?
- Tell me your favorite travel story.
- How many places have you lived? ...
- Tell me a funny story about your first car.
- What do you always procrastinate doing?
- What's your favorite song? ...
- What's your favorite way to relax?
Here are some narcissism red flags to look out for: Lacking empathy. They seem unable or unwilling to have empathy for others, and they appear to have no desire for emotional intimacy. Unrealistic sense of entitlement.
What can make a man lose interest in a woman? ›- Efforts don't match. If he does his best and you don't. ...
- You're not supportive. ...
- Cheating. ...
- Difference in sex drive. ...
- Disrespect.
Guys regret losing a girl that knows her own mind and has a clear concept of own self-worth. A confident woman knows she deserves to be treated well and won't accept anything less.
How a man feels when he hurts a woman? ›When a man hurts a woman he loves, he feels emotions such as anger, guilt, frustration, self-loathe, fear, etc. Although he may not express his feelings confidently, a man will show signs he is sorry for hurting you or signs he knows he hurt you.
Why do men go silent? ›Many guys hate failing and feeling inadequate. They often don't have the speed of words to compete with their partner in a conflict. Men's emotional processing capacity is often much slower than their partner. Whilst being silent is a sign of a man's need to process it is also a way to avoid the feelings of defeat.
What happens when you stop chasing him? ›
You get to find out his true feelings for you
Stop chasing a guy, and his reaction will let you know if he cares for you. This will save you a lot of time guessing the nature of his feelings. Getting to know his true feelings is one of the benefits of halting your chase.
Give him space; stop worrying about what you did to turn him off. When he withdraws, it can negatively impact your ego and self-esteem. So, shift your focus – get busy or distracted. Don't stop your daily routine and don't feel guilty about focusing attention on yourself.
Are some people meant to be single forever? ›Many people believe that they need to have a significant other to be happy, but this isn't always the case. If you feel fulfilled in life, perhaps by your career, hobbies, or friendships, you can be happy being single forever, and there is no reason to force yourself into a relationship.
Is it normal to be single for so long? ›"It is absolutely normal to be single, either by choice or because you haven't found what you're looking for," says Battle.
Is it unhealthy to be single for a long time? ›Adverse health issues
This might come as a shock, but research has shown that 54% of people who stay single for a long time end up with health issues that later affect their love life. The most common health issues associated with extended single good include suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, and mood disorders.
Being Single Can Be Healthy
Research shows that people who are single, especially men, are living longer than ever before.
Yes, there are definitely some people meant to be alone. If that is you, stop thinking it is a bad thing and embrace it!
Why are some people single for so long? ›They are simply not interested in being in a serious relationship at this time in their life. Others are single due to the circumstances of their lives. They may have just gotten out of a meaningful relationship or have dated relentlessly and just haven't found someone with whom they're truly compatible.
How do I know if we're not meant to be? ›If you develop a strong dislike for the other person over time despite loving them, that's among the bold signs you're not right for each other. It's time for things to change when you don't want to be around someone and do everything to avoid going home when the day is done.
How do you deal with being single for too long? ›- Immerse yourself in meaningful activities, and live in the now. ...
- Recognise that not all of your thoughts are facts. ...
- Don't wait to be in a relationship to pursue your goals. ...
- Use your past to inform your future, but not to sabotage it. ...
- Don't put your date on a pedestal. ...
- Do put yourself on a pedestal.
How do you know if you're single too long? ›
- You play too many video games.
- You look at female friends as potential girlfriends. ...
- You surf mail-order bride sites "out of curiosity" ...
- You get a cat. ...
- Your dating standards plummet. ...
- You gush about your feelings to women. ...
- You develop bad eating habits. ...
- You assume you repulse all women. ...
- Don't be clingy. Nothing is going to make a single independent guy or gal run more than a clinger. ...
- Let them choose the pace, without controlling everything. ...
- Be open and clear. ...
- Be yourself.
The most common reason why it's so hard to fall in love is a fear of commitment. Labels can terrify some people, but for others, the uncertainty of where the relationship stands is also terrifying.
What are the benefits of being single? ›- More time for yourself. ...
- Traveling flexibility. ...
- Embrace healthy flirting. ...
- The sex life. ...
- More time for family. ...
- More time for sleep and relaxation. ...
- A chance for deeper friendships. ...
- A chance to get to know yourself.
People view those without romantic relationship experience as less happy, less well-adjusted, and lonelier than others, according to research. As the number of single people grows in the U.S. and abroad, many people are taking pride in living outside of the conventions of coupling.
What age do most males live to? ›In North America, a man can expect to live to between 75 and 78 years of age, depending on where he lives. For women, life expectancy hovers between about 80 and 83 years of age.
Are single men happier than married men? ›It turns out married men are actually happier after marriage than they would be if they stayed single, according to researchers at Michigan State University.